Try Something New Today!

On the surface, this outfit is really nothing to write home about.  But!  There are a few things going on that I feel are notable.  First of all, I am wearing not just a belt, but also shorts.  These are two things that don't tend to feature heavily on this blog.  Mostly because I didn't previously own any.  

I'm not sure how I've managed to go almost 29 years (y'all, my birthday is next MONTH) without figuring out belts.  I can't tell you why I find them so intimidating, but intimidate me they do.  You can hardly see that one, but it is metallic & braided and it is barely long enough to go around my hips but is super long when I wear it around my waist.  I bought it that way on purpose.

The pink shorts were an experiment and I've worn them enough to justify the $20 price tag.  I picked them up at Gap a few months ago and they are exactly the right length for me to feel comfortable in them.  They're doing something funky near my crotch in this photo, but I hope that is just the way I'm standing.

I've also been experimenting with tucking in my shirts.  I'm certainly no Kendi Everyday, but it's not too bad.  I also discovered a way to do a French braid whilst giving myself a bit of a Snooki-poof, but I think I over-Snookied this one. I like braiding my hair because it means I don't have to dry it after I shower.  And I'm not even lying when I say that sometimes I avoid washing my hair just so I don't have to dry it.  I have long, thick hair that I am very grateful for, but dang, it takes a lot of effort to dry it.  So any kind of hair-do I can work that doesn't require the blow-dryer?  I'm in.

What Do I Want to Do With My Life?

So I just finished reading a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  It has gotten LOADS of publicity, so I think it would be safe to say that you've heard of it.  If you haven't though, the premise is that this lady spent a year doing things to make herself happier.  And not just like, quick fixes.  She read a lot of books & studies about happiness and then she applied them to different areas in her life.  When I first heard about this book, I was pretty ambivalent toward it.  But then it was the Nook Daily Find on Barnes & Noble, so it was $2.99, so I figured what the hey!  And, well, it was inspiring.

See, I've been in a funk.  And I haven't really known how to get myself out of it.  If I were to self-diagnose, I would say that occasionally I suffer from mild depression.  I've never wanted to harm myself, but I go through periods of time where the only way to describe the feeling is that of being a "non-person."  When I feel that way, I think that I don't have any interests or hobbies or characteristics that separate me from any other Joe on the street.  I feel like I am not contributing anything to society as a whole and certainly not to those people closest to me.  There's a voice in my head that repeatedly tells me, "You're just not good enough."  Most of the time, I'm able to tell myself that I am good enough, but sometimes, I agree with that voice.  And it spirals into me wallowing in my own self-pity.  Sometimes it only last a few hours, sometimes it lasts a few days.  I've never thought it was anything for which I needed therapy or medication.  I usually recognize the self-pity and am able to give myself a pep-talk and I eventually muddle my way out of it.

As time has gone by, I've noticed that  there are things I can do to keep this at bay.  Having goals (and especially accomplishing them) helps a LOT.  When I first started out trying to lose weight, I struggled with that voice in my head that told me I would always be fat and why was I even trying.  It certainly wasn't my first attempt to lose weight, but it was my first successful attempt.  And that success segued into my running.  And I set a goal of running a half-marathon.  And I did it!  After I injured myself doing that though, I fell out of the habit of running.  But before the fire, I had set a goal of working out every other day.  And up to the point of the fire, I maintained that goal for 9 weeks.  Even if I only worked out for 20 minutes, I did SOMETHING every other day.  And it was amazing how much that helped me as a whole.

And maintaining the blog helped.  Because I had a reason to not just get dressed, but to put on outfits that I felt were worthy of being showcased.  And it pushed me out the door on days I might have just sat around the house.  Because hey, I had on a great outfit!  I wanted to take it out into the world!

Since the fire, I've had a lot of excuses for not blogging, for not running, for not working toward any of my goals.  And in reading that book, I've realized that I'm not doing myself any favors with all of that.  In fact, I'm probably pushing myself back toward the muck of self-pity.  And I don't want to do that.  I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself.  I'm tried of feeling like a non-person.

This has been a really long blog entry to just say that I'm not really sure of the new direction of Up in the Air, but that I am setting a goal to update it at least 3 times a week.  I am training to run a 10k race at the end of October.  I have pestered the Mister into participating in the 100 Push-Ups Challenge with me.  I bought a paper journal for all the things I need to write about that don't need a public audience.  I am working on all of these things to try to help me be a happier me!  Let's do this!

Hello Again

So.  Just about every morning, as I'm doing my daily perusal of blogs (I'm old school and don't actually use an RSS feed), I open up a Blogger tab and half-heartedly look at the blank form and try to start a post.  And then eventually, I close the tab and go about my day.  It certainly isn't because there is nothing going on in my life.  And it isn't even that I'm not putting together outfits, because I am, and every time I put something together, I think, "I should blog this."  And then I don't.

It seems like the longer I stay away, the harder it is for me to get back into the swing of things.  I would say that this blog has probably been the hold-out as far as things getting back to normal after the fire.  And things really are getting back to normal.  I've pulled in the reins & lost the weight I put on in the aftermath.  I have been steadily rebuilding my closet, editing things I bought that maybe don't actually go with anything else (a constant problem for me).  I've been buying things to put up on the walls in the apartment, though for right now, things in frames are just stacked against the bookcase.  I've been trying to read more, but to be honest, the "more" I've been reading is a lot of 99 cent historical romance novels on my Nook.  The other night I was describing to the Mister the various plots in the series I'm reading right now (Regency Pirates, arrrrrr!) and I realized I need to read something of substance soon or my brain will turn to fluff.

But the thing that occupies most of my brain space anymore is the Wedding.  Oh the Wedding.  I can't remember if I've ever mentioned that I worked in a bridal store for almost two years in high school.  It was equal parts horrible and awesome.  Horrible because the owners were awful and my paystubs were handwritten on index cards and I never got a raise the whole time I worked there, even when I went from just being a stock girl (putting away dresses, washing mirrors) to also being a receptionist.  Awesome because I had a lot of time to read or do my homework or even sometimes, on reeeeeally slow Saturdays, we would watch wedding-themed movies on the photographer's TV.  But none of that is the point.  The point is that I spent two years steeped in Wedding Culture and walked away chanting "Courthouse! Courthouse! Courthouse!"  I never dreamed about a big fancy wedding.  And then I met the Mister and in talking to him, discovered that he wanted a traditional wedding where he got to wear his uniform and we walked under a sword arch and all that jazz that went with it.  And because it was important to him, it became important to me.

So here we are, knee deep in Wedding stuffs.  This weekend we are taking a little mini-vacay to drive about 3 hours and meet with our photographer and check out our venue.  Pretty pretty pretty please do not judge our venue based on that site.  True, it is the official site, but I can link you to about 7 or 8 real weddings that actually showcase the place in all its beauty.  I did SO much research into venues and fell down so many rabbit holes of links, but when I stumbled on Ash Lawn-Highland, something in me just knew.  It was the same something that knew I should go to the University of Arkansas, that I should go to Italy, that I should become a flight attendant, that I should marry the Mister.  I tend to go with my gut on these things.

The other Big Event that is looming ever closer on our horizon is moving.  We finally received the Mister's orders and while we weren't super stoked at first, now that we've become used to the idea, we're both getting excited.  We're staying in Virginia, but we're moving about 2 1/2 hours north.  Luckily, the Navy is going to come in and pack up all our stuff and store it and move it, so that is a lot of hassle out of our hair.  Now we just have to find a place to live...

Oh hey, would you look at that. I do believe that might be an outfit photo.

Drinking Coffee on a Plane

So, I promise I do more than just drink coffee in my hotel rooms, crashpad and now the aircraft.  I've even started rebuilding my wardrobe and I've been pretty pleased with the results.  So why haven't you seen any of my new clothes?  Two reasons, really.  I've gotten out of the habit of taking pictures and I haven't quite figured out a good place to take my pictures.  But I am planning to change that.  I know I've said that before, but I really miss blogging regularly.  

I've been making progress on the weight-loss business as well.  But I definitely do a better job of watching my calories when I'm flying than when I'm at home, which seems like it should be totally opposite.  But there are always good things to eat at home, not so much on the road (in the sky?).  I guess the takeaway from that is that I need to work out more regularly at home in order to counteract the less-than-stellar eating habits?

That's about all the news for now.  We're still unsure of the Mister's next orders, so wedding plans are still a bit at a standstill.  That doesn't keep me from scouring the wedding blogs, figuring out what I like and what I don't like.  It sounds so cheesy to say, but my "vision" for the wedding is coming together and I'm definitely realizing which parts are important to me and which parts aren't.  So that's good.  And I think once we know where we'll be living next year, we'll be able to hit the ground running with our plans.

So hey, how are y'all?

Drinking Coffee at my Crash Pad

So, it's been almost a month since I last updated.  Whoops.  I certainly didn't intend to go that long between posting.  To be honest, I go around most days composing mental blog posts, but then I never seem to get around to actually updating.  I've been in Minneapolis for the last two weeks, flying my bum off and then coming back to my crash pad to sleep.  I forgot to bring my camera and I haven't had too many awesome layovers anyway, but still.  I could blame the upheaval of my life after the fire, but I'm kind of tired of using that as a crutch.  That said, these last few weeks have been really hard for me.  I think the shock has finally worn off and I'm realizing the total impact of the fire.  I've been starting to miss things I had to leave behind.  I've cried three or four times at work, telling people about the fire.  I've been homesick for a home I don't have anymore.

In the last few weeks, I've had two days off and I spent both days meeting friends downtown for lunch.  And while I was super excited to see both of these people, being downtown and NOT walking back to my little neighborhood felt awkward and wrong.  I miss all my little shopping haunts and my downtown Target and Loring Park.  I forgot how I used to sometimes just leave the house in the late morning and just wander around until it was time to buy something to make for dinner.  Just walking and people watching and enjoying the weather.  I MISS that.  

When I met up with my friend Jess for lunch, she gifted me with something that, well, I'm not even sure what to say about it other than it was the most perfect thing she could have given me.  When I moved into the studio, she was my cat sitter.  If I had a longish trip, I could count on her to check on the baby cat every couple of days, to spend some time hanging out with her and playing with her and just giving her some affection.  It made me feel so much better when I was on a trip to know that Stella was getting attention.  Jess has a friend who is an artist and she asked her friend to make something for me to help me deal with the loss of my baby cat.  It's a tiny replica of my green locker and a tiny baby Stella.  The detail that this girl put into this was amazing, right down to the variations of paint on the locker and the dirty tee shirt that doubled as a Stella bed.  When I pulled it out of the bag on Thursday, I just started bawling.  But it was a good cry.  Because as awful as this whole situation has been, it has really shown me that there are amazing people in my life, people who really care about me and want to do things to help me.  

On a somewhat less emotional note, I've been making some other changes in my life.  Before the fire, I had made a commitment and had been working out every other day for nine weeks.  After the fire, that all kind of went to hell.  Along with any semblance I had of moderation in eating.  I would randomly eat things all day when I was home in Virginia and I would constantly snack during flights.  The culmination of this was weighing in at 5 pounds over my original weight loss goal from two years ago.  Now, that may not seem like a lot, but I had actually been ten pounds UNDER that goal for quite some time now.  Which means I gained 15 pounds.  And all the clothes I had had to buy?  They weren't fitting so great anymore.  So in addition to not having a lot to wear in the first place, now I had limited myself even more by not fitting into what I had.  Something had to give.

What worked for me the first time around was keeping track of everything I ate.  So, I downloaded MyFitnessPal onto my FancyPants phone and I've been tracking for almost three weeks now.  I don't have a scale here in Minneapolis, so I'm not sure of my progress, but just going by how things fit, I think I've made an improvement.  My goal in this is to lose twenty pounds by my birthday, which is Halloween.  My dress should come in sometime in October or November, so that works out well as far as my first fitting will go.  It was tough at first, keeping under my calorie goal, but as time has gone by, it has gotten easier.  I've gotten better about not just randomly snacking, but I don't really deny myself too much.  That's the key for me, really.

Oh dear, this has gotten long.  I think the key is to NOT go a million years without updating.  But before I go, about a week ago, a guy on our plane was drinking too much and we were going to cut him off.  He came back to the galley to buy another drink and we told him it was his last for the flight.  He was actually pretty cool about it, but he wanted to stand around and talk to us while he finished his drink . When he was done, he said, "Here, this is for you."  And held out a fifty dollar bill.  I looked at it, then looked at him and said, "Uhhhh, that's a fifty dollar bill."  He looked at it and back to me and said, "Yep."  And I said, "Are you sure you want to give that to me?  You realize it isn't going to get your another drink or any special privileges, right?"  And he said, "I just want to give this to you."  And I said, "Okay, because I am going to take it now and it is going to be mine and you can't have it back."  And he just kept thrusting it at me, so I took it and put it in my pocket.  And then politely told him that the seatbelt sign was on and that he needed to return to his seat.  The point of telling you that is to tell you that I spent that $50 yesterday on three new summertime dresses at Marshalls.  I've pretty much decided I am only going to wear dresses this summer.  This makes me happy because I like wearing dresses and it makes the Mister happy because he likes looking at me wearing dresses.  So, expect outfit photos to resume once I'm back home with access to my camera again.  And expect lots and lots of dresses.

Wedding Belle

So I guess the adage is true about wedding dresses as much as about the groom.  When you know, you know.  I knew after the first weekend I came to visit the Mister that I was going to marry him.  And I knew from the minute I stepped into my dress that it was the one.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering why there isn't a ginormous photo of the dress splashed all over this entry.  Well, the Mister doesn't want to see my dress until the moment I start walking down the aisle.  So, I have to be a leeeetle bit sneaky because I want to show EVERYONE ELSE.  I've created a password-protected album and I'll post the password down in the comments.  So!  If you want to see my dress ( and really, I know you do!), you can see it here!  As for the Mister, he just needs to keep his nose out of the comments!

I don't want to talk too much about my particular dress because the Mister reads this and I do want him to be surprised.  But I do want to talk a bit about the whole experience of dress shopping.  I really wasn't sure what to expect, which is kind of ridiculous.  When I was in high school, I worked at a bridal store for two years.  So if anyone should know what to expect from dress shopping, it was me.  But while the process was familiar, I wasn't sure how I would feel.  I've never been a girl who dreams about her wedding.  And despite spending a LOT of time flipping through bridal magazines and pulling out photos, I really couldn't picture myself in any of the dresses.  I knew what kinds of dresses I was attracted to, but I had no idea what style or fabric would look best on my body.  Again, without going into too much detail & ruining the surprise for the Mister, I chose a dress that was almost completely opposite what I thought I wanted.

I found my dress at the last appointment of the day, in the cutest little boutique bridal store called Bel Fiore.  I thought I had found my dress at another shop, but there were a few things about that dress that I would have changed to make it perfect.  But then, when I walked out of the dressing room at Bel Fiore in the first dress I tried on there, I knew I had found my dress.  It blew the other dress right out of the water.  My dress made me feel glamorous and sexy, but still classy and elegant.  Basically, all of the things I wanted to feel.

Now that I have my dress picked out, I'm starting to get a better idea of what I want the bridesmaid dresses to look like.  Slowly but surely, I've been mulling over details and thoughts and I'm starting to put together what I want the rest of the wedding to look like.  Once the Mister hears about his next orders, we'll pick a venue and really get the ball rolling.  Wedding planning!