Romp Romp Romp

If this were a dress, it would be so cute

So.  Rompers.  I think I've been promising a post about rompers for several months.  Every time I try on a romper, I think, I need to post about this.  Because here's the thing.  The general point of a romper seems to be that it is not a dress, so the hemline can be shorter.  For me, this is not such a good thing.  I firmly believe no one needs to see that part of my upper thighs in public.  Maybe for these teenage girls who mill about in what is essentially denim underpants, maybe for them, this is okay.  For me?  Y'all, I am 2 short years away from thirty.  I do not need hemlines that short.  

But really.  The big thing I have against rompers is this.  Say you are wearing a romper.  And you are somewhere in public.  And you realize you have to go to the bathroom.  In order to relieve yourself, you will have to disrobe completely in the stall.  Please allow that to sink in for a moment.  You will be sitting there in nothing but your bra.  And maybe not even that if you can get away with such things.  Just sitting there.  And in my head, at any moment, someone could come in and kick the door open and there I'd be, all hanging out in my birthday suit.  No thank you.

Exhibit A: Saggy Diaper Butt

Something that April from So Yeah...So & I do when we hang out is called You Should Try That On.  You've witnessed this before and it's a lot of fun.  I am always game to try new things on.  So weeks & weeks ago when April & I were shopping with her daughter for back-to-school clothes, I pulled a garment off the sale rack at Urban Outfitters, exclaiming over the cute neckline and the pattern.  April & I also have another (potential drinking) game called Is it a Dress or Is it a Romper?  Take a shot.  It was a romper.  I took it into the dressing room anyway to illustrate some of my other non-public-nudity issues with rompers.

For one thing, they tend to give me Saggy Diaper Butt.  I don't have much of a butt to begin with.  It's not terribly wide & it's not terribly round.  It's just sort of there and mostly flat.  I have come to turns with my lack of derriere, but I find that rompers exasperate the situation.  Especially when they have some sort of elastic bit around the midsection.  It creates a blousing over my bum and then there's a gathering for the shorts part and it all comes together to form Saggy Diaper Butt.

And the other thing is really this.  I don't like shorts.  All summer long, I have tried on pair after pair after pair of shorts and I have yet to find a single pair that I thought were flattering.  I'm sure someone else might look at them and say, "Oh, Sarah, stop being hyper critical" but if I don't think they are flattering, I'm not going to be comfortable and I'm not going to wear them.  So at the end of the day, shorts are out.  Which means that rompers are out.  And I'm okay with that.